Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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