That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
