dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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