I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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