There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
