Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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