One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I wear drunk well.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
