At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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