Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
operation harelip BJ is a go
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
