Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
