is your mom at the bar?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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