Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she was so not down for the gang bang
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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