i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I still have a little drunk in my system
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
