Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Someone signed my nipple.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
