Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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