stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
