i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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