I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
