Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
