i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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