All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
