It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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