i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
