Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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