Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
