apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
