I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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