can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
