I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
