How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
