And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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