You smell like stripper and shame
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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