Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Holy shit dude........stairs
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
