I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
