Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
