I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
