apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
