the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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