Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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