Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Randomize
