Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
