Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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