I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
