Whod you bang
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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