Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
