If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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