They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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