So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
