I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
