When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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