I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Shame is for Republicans.
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