i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
