What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
