oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
