Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
