Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
