remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
